Christmas cheer? Not in Stoke-on-Trent

I'm all for surprise gifts at Christmas. They can lift the mood when unwrapping socks, pants and car-cleaning kits gets a trifle tedious.
But I'm not sure I'd want the kind of festive present left by the good old traffic wardens of Stoke-on-Trent on Christmas Eve.
You see, church-goers who had attended mass at Sacred Heart Church in Hanley came outside at the end of the service to discover they'd been ticketed by said wardens, who work for oh-so-popular Stoke-on-Trent City Council.
According to my local paper, The Sentinel, up to 50 worshippers discovered they'd been fined at the end of mass. And I bet they wanted to give the traffic wardens more than a glass of sherry in return for their stunning display of festive cheer.
A mate of mine reckons traffic wardens get a hard time. "It must be a joyless job," he whines on. "Imagine how much grief they must get in the line of duty."
Well if behaviour like this is anything to go by, I'm not surprised. Utter jobsworths, the lot of them.
What happened to Christmas cheer? What happened to good will to all men? What happened to making allowances because it's bloody Christmas?
The parish priest, Father Peter Weatherby, is fuming about the fines and has vowed to fight tooth and nail on behalf of his parishioners.
A city council spokesman had nothing unusual to say... just the usual town hall claptrap which will do nothing to boost the authority's appalling PR rating.
"Penalties are issued when vehicles are parked in violation of the restrictions," said a town hall spin doctor. "On-street parking restrictions apply until 6pm. Motorists who are issued a penalty are welcome to appeal the decision and details of how to appeal are on the back of the ticket."
Great.
I wonder whether the target-setting chief who runs traffic wardens in Hanley, Stoke, Burslem, Longton, Tunstall and Fenton goes by the name of Ebeneezer?

Let's make Stoke-on-Trent the Amsterdam of the Midlands

Those bright sparks at Stoke-on-Trent City Council are at it again.
First they want to ban takeaways because they make the people of the Potteries fat.
Now they want to ban "downmarket" sex shops, arcades and bookies' because they're worried that plans for the regeneration of Hanley will be undermined by such tawdry "outlets".
They reckon the North Staffordshire Regeneration Partnership (NSRP) has some great ideas for the Piccadilly area, and giving visitors the chance to play the slot machines before purchasing a bit of porn and a marital aid sends out the wrong impression.
In principle, I suppose I can see where they're coming from. If Realis Estates' proposed East West Shopping Centre comes off, there's the potential for Hanley to become a city centre worth visiting.
But are the minds at the Civic Centre in Stoke thinking about the people who actually live in the city? (They're the very same taxpayers who pay their wages, after all.)
Because, from a PR point of view, it all just sounds snotty, snobby and out of touch.
People in Stoke-on-Trent like to visit takeaways. They evidently like a flutter on the horses and a fair few probably have Debbie Does Dallas in their DVD collections. If they didn't, such "downmarket" businesses wouldn't exist in the city.
OK, they might be fat, broke and have repetitive strain injury, but it's their personal choice.
And if those taxpayers got the feeling that the city council and its regeneration partners knew what they were doing, perhaps grand declarations like this one would be a bit easier to accept.
No, I've decided we need to innovate and be bold. We need the powers-that-be to come up with a different plan to put Stoke-on-Trent on the map.
So I will be writing to the town hall immediately with my suggestion. (Actually, I'll email because Stoke Royal Mail postal workers are going on strike. My dossier might never get there.)
And my suggestion? We should create a Sex-And-Betting Quarter in the Potteries. We could become the Amsterdam of the Midlands (we've already got the canals).
Now that's the kind of vision needed to transform North Staffordshire's fortunes.
And I reckon the good folk of Burslem, Longton, Hanley, Fenton, Tunstall and Stoke might agree.