You've got to feel sorry for besieged mum Nicola Bruce, who lives in a council house in Stanfields, near Tunstall in Stoke-on-Trent.
Imagine 50-odd intruders raiding your gaff every night for two years - and the authorities apparently doing little about it.
But these intruders aren't burglars, out on the rob to feed their crack habits. Nor are they tearaway hoodies looking to half-inch a telly to flog as the credit crunch bites. (It' still grim in my neck of the woods - Wedgwood and JCB have announced about 1,000 redundancies this week.)
No, the offenders causing mayhem in Nicola's house are... slugs. Yes. Slugs. And Stoke-on-Trent City Council's partner in these matters, Kier, has done nothing about it, she says.
My local paper, The Sentinel, has reported tonight that Nicola picks up bags of slugs and bleaches her surfaces every morning before letting her kids come downstairs.
It sounds horrific.
Keir reckons the house has received "substantial improvement works" during 2008. Which would be lovely, if it wasn't overrun by slugs who leave their slime everywhere.
Though to be fair to them, they say they'll be back to take a look at the problem again.
Detractors knock Stoke-on-Trent. They reckon the six towns - Fenton, Hanley, Burslem, Longton, Stoke and Tunstall - are dumps and the people are backward-looking.
But I reckon the Potteries could soon boost an admittedly unenviable first... Could this be the city in which the first family in the UK is forced out of their home by slime?
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